"Um, excuse me, can you please help me with my HEMORRHOIDS?"

That's not exactly what I said, but pretty darn close.

I was in Target, getting all the things I would need for this next baby. The most expensive thing, by far, was a new carseat for Jane. I got the Graco MyRide 65:
To be honest, the main reason I got this one is because it matches the other carseat, and it's not the color of poo. I probably spent more than was necessary for these two things, but hey, I'm going to have to look at this thing every single day. So. That's worth an extra $60, right? Right? Maybe not. But the cupholders are a lot better than the EvenFlo kind. And guess what, this carseat lasts up to 65 pounds, a whole whoppin' 5 more pounds than the other ones at the store. That's a good reason to pick this one, right? Bleaugh. I feel nauseated at how much this thing cost (freaking $150). Let's face it, there's nothing that is going to make me feel good about spending that much on a stupid car seat. These car seat companies must have excellent lobbyists. Thirty years ago, people didn't even USE car seats. And now it's a necessity. Which of course, it is. That's not what I'm arguing. I'm just saying it's a darn expensive necessity.

I also got newborn diapers, baby powder, some more bottles, sippy cups for Jane (who is transitioning to them right now), and some huge pants that maybe my butt will fit into.

Last pregnancy, I didn't even think about what my body would be like after giving birth. But this time, let me tell you, I am prepared. I got a gigantic package of the largest size night-time maxi pads possible, and two huge cannisters of generic brand "tucks".

Why? After you give birth, cue the wonderful world of lochia. In brief: it's like an extended stay version of a period, lasting for weeks, gradually diminishing until all the blood is gone. It's not that pleasant.

But even more unpleasant is the feeling in your perenium. Hey, it's understandable. You've just squeezed a 5 to 13 pound thing through a tiny, tiny area. Last time they sent me home with a small cannister of tucks, a.k.a. "Hemorrhoidal Pads With Witch Hazel". They were awesome. But Tucks must have some kind of deal with Orem Community Hospital, because they didn't give me nearly enough. This time, I decided to be prepared. It sucked walking to the store last time post-partum (with Danny), to buy maxi pads and tucks. Not this time.

Except, I wandered the medicine aisles at Target for about 10 minutes to no avail. I could not find the stupid things anywhere. So finally I went over to the pharmacy. I was hoping the younger female pharmacist would help me, but instead it was an older male pharmacist in his 50's.

"Um, excuse me, can you please help me find the tucks?"
"Sure! They're right down this aisle! In fact, I can see them from here!"

He sure was chipper. I was pretty embarrassed. I guess he's been asked about far more embarrassing medication, being a pharmacist. "Can you please help me with my PROSTATE?" But even so, talk about embarrassing! But very blog worthy.

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