I'm sorry that I posted some really mean and hurtful things on my blog. It was never my intention to hurt anybody, and so it really, really sucks that I did. It's taken me a while to figure out why what I wrote was offensive, but I think I get it better now. And I really feel sorry. In the first place, a blog is not the right setting to voice certain feelings, especially ones that I shouldn't focus on in the first place. I have no way to justify the mean things I thought and wrote, and I'm sorry to all people who have never experienced pregnancy before, including men and the childless. I hope that the people I hurt will eventually be able to forgive me.


  1. I appreciate the honesty of your blog entries. Blogs that ignore the negative aspects of life are boring and unrealistic. I don't read them. Though it's true that you have to be aware of your audience, your audience also has to be aware of you. When you read someone's blog, you have to say to yourself "Okay, are they venting? Were they upset when they wrote this?" etc.

    The night of my temple sealing, I was extremely upset and I vented about it on my blog. However, in the next entry (a few days later), after a good night's sleep and some time to think about it, I wrote another entry about how wonderful everything was. Even the greatest experiences of your life can be painful (as you probably know with your pregnancy). Fortunately, the people who read my blog understand my mood swings and need to vent; they give me time and space to come to peace with things.

    Also, when I am directing a comment towards a specific person, whether the comment is positive or negative, I always say WHO I'm talking about. In my opinion, you can't take something personally unless they MAKE it personal by identifying you specifically. Though I realize that you were talking about a sensitive topic, I think people need to remember what they're reading- it's an online journal. It's not the Boston Globe. It is your feelings at the exact moment you wrote it. It's not your feelings every second of every day for the rest of your life.

    I think it's great that your entry started a discussion on the topic which allowed you to see things from other perspectives. But seriously, before people go and take offense at your words, they need to take a breath, give you some time, and begin by asking you to clarify what you said as it applies to them. You mentioned early on that none of your siblings had offended you; this could very well apply to siblings-in-law as well. Obviously there is more than one way to read something, and because a blog is written and not spoken, (and it is initially a one-way conversation) a lot of things are missing. If the content is offensive to someone, they need to ask you to fill in the blanks before jumping to conclusions. Or, they can jump to conclusions and everybody's feelings get hurt, especially theirs and yours. I don't know about you, but that's not my reason for keeping a blog. Though it is my reason for being highly selective about my readers.

  2. Kate, I think it's ok to write your feelings on your blog, good, bad or ugly! It's your space. And I respect your willingness to bring up topics that cause others to think. I'm sorry you felt upset about the comments posted. I never in a million years wanted to hurt your feelings and I know you didn't mean to hurt mine with your post. I think we both learned a lot.

    I truly admire you and hope you won't censor yourself in any way because of this! I'm sorry I didn't have the guts to list my name with my comments before. I think I was hurt, not mad, and didn't know how to explain my perspective so that you could see both sides.

    I actually TOTALLY agree with you that people who presume to understand what they don't are annoying! :)It's the same for me and infertility. People who haven't dealt with it who try to act like they know just don't get it. I understood what you were saying and think it was ok to say. I'm sorry I reacted the way I did and I hope you can forgive me. I cried to my husband about it that night that you deleted the posts. I wanted to call or email to apologize, but I didn't have the guts.

    You are amazing and I'm sorry if I made you think otherwise!


Add a comment!