"Um, excuse me, can you please help me with my HEMORRHOIDS?"

That's not exactly what I said, but pretty darn close.

I was in Target, getting all the things I would need for this next baby. The most expensive thing, by far, was a new carseat for Jane. I got the Graco MyRide 65:
To be honest, the main reason I got this one is because it matches the other carseat, and it's not the color of poo. I probably spent more than was necessary for these two things, but hey, I'm going to have to look at this thing every single day. So. That's worth an extra $60, right? Right? Maybe not. But the cupholders are a lot better than the EvenFlo kind. And guess what, this carseat lasts up to 65 pounds, a whole whoppin' 5 more pounds than the other ones at the store. That's a good reason to pick this one, right? Bleaugh. I feel nauseated at how much this thing cost (freaking $150). Let's face it, there's nothing that is going to make me feel good about spending that much on a stupid car seat. These car seat companies must have excellent lobbyists. Thirty years ago, people didn't even USE car seats. And now it's a necessity. Which of course, it is. That's not what I'm arguing. I'm just saying it's a darn expensive necessity.

I also got newborn diapers, baby powder, some more bottles, sippy cups for Jane (who is transitioning to them right now), and some huge pants that maybe my butt will fit into.

Last pregnancy, I didn't even think about what my body would be like after giving birth. But this time, let me tell you, I am prepared. I got a gigantic package of the largest size night-time maxi pads possible, and two huge cannisters of generic brand "tucks".

Why? After you give birth, cue the wonderful world of lochia. In brief: it's like an extended stay version of a period, lasting for weeks, gradually diminishing until all the blood is gone. It's not that pleasant.

But even more unpleasant is the feeling in your perenium. Hey, it's understandable. You've just squeezed a 5 to 13 pound thing through a tiny, tiny area. Last time they sent me home with a small cannister of tucks, a.k.a. "Hemorrhoidal Pads With Witch Hazel". They were awesome. But Tucks must have some kind of deal with Orem Community Hospital, because they didn't give me nearly enough. This time, I decided to be prepared. It sucked walking to the store last time post-partum (with Danny), to buy maxi pads and tucks. Not this time.

Except, I wandered the medicine aisles at Target for about 10 minutes to no avail. I could not find the stupid things anywhere. So finally I went over to the pharmacy. I was hoping the younger female pharmacist would help me, but instead it was an older male pharmacist in his 50's.

"Um, excuse me, can you please help me find the tucks?"
"Sure! They're right down this aisle! In fact, I can see them from here!"

He sure was chipper. I was pretty embarrassed. I guess he's been asked about far more embarrassing medication, being a pharmacist. "Can you please help me with my PROSTATE?" But even so, talk about embarrassing! But very blog worthy.

"Hey Kate, you're FAT!" or The Top Ten Things Not To Say to Pregnant People

You know how it's not polite to comment about somebody's body size? Well I don't really see how that changes when you are pregnant. Yesterday at church, a woman came up to me and said, "Oh! You're STILL pregnant?" "Um yeah, I'm only 34 weeks." "Oh. How much longer do you have?" "About 6 weeks." I guess she realized I was somewhat annoyed because she tried to apologize by saying, "Oh, well, when I was pregnant I got as big as you, and everyone thought I was having twins!"

But it was okay because I told my friend what she said and her very first reaction was, "Oh, did so and so say that? [yes!] Yeah, she's kind of...blunt." Just the fact that she knew made me feel tons better.

My friend told me about her younger sister's comment. I guess her younger sister had always struggled with weight issues, whereas my friend didn't. They didn't live close to each other, but there was some kind of family get together event that brought them together while my friend was pregnant. I guess her little sister's first reaction to seeing her was something like, "WOW, you are FAT!"

"Um, no. No, I am pregnant. There is a big difference."

Before I was pregnant with Jane, I thought that a pregnant belly would be really jiggly and flabby. Actually, it's exactly the opposite. If you touch it, it feels like I swallowed a bunch of bricks. Also, the stretching of skin as this giant mass expands in my belly causes physical pain. More like achey-ness than pain. I'm just having a hard time imagining being able to get so fat in such a short amount of time that your skin stretching would cause the same achey-ness. Maybe this happens. I just know that other areas of my body are expanding besides my belly, and they don't seem to ache. Also, clearly if somebody were to make a comment like, "Wow, your butt is HUUUUGE!" that would qualify as rude, even though I am pregnant.

Two (two!?) other people at church said, "Wow, you're going to pop!" One of them was also pregnant. Sheesh, I would never say that to her; why did she say it to me?!

I think maybe it has to do with whether or not a person has already been through pregnancy. I don't think I've ever had a comment like this come from a non-parent (yes, one of the people who said, "wow, you're going to pop!" was a man. What!?). Maybe this is just my experience and I'm totally wrong. But my theory is that when you go through pregnancy, either as the pregnant one or the spouse, you suddenly feel like you have the "right" to comment on other people going through it. I guess it's a "right of passage" you have gone through, and your comments to others is an attempt to cheer somebody on from the peanut gallery. I guess comments on a person's size when they are pregnant are supposed to be sympathetic, like, "Wow, I've been there and done that, and I remember that parts of it sucked. Good luck!"

But why not just say, "Wow, I've been there and done that, and I remember that parts of it sucked! Good luck!" Why make comments that can easily be construed to mean, "I can't believe how FAT you are!" I mean, I've heard some crazy statistics about teen girls and negative body image. Something like 80% of American teen girls struggle with negative body image. I'm not a teenager anymore, granted, but having been one, wouldn't it be safer to assume that maybe negative body image was one of my "issues", and disparaging talk about my body should be avoided? Even without the whole body image thing, would you like me to point out how, "You are the size of a whale!"

I bet that people who had eating disorders in the past who get pregnant find this whole weird culture of you-are-huge-comments especially difficult.

And now, the TOP TEN THINGS NOT TO SAY TO PREGNANT PEOPLE:

10. "You're only seven months pregnant?" Yes, only.
9. "Wow, you are HUGE!" Oh actually, I hadn't noticed any change!
8. "So, how much weight have you gained?" Um, excuse me???
7. "Are you having twins?" No, just one. But thanks for pointing out how you think I'm twice as big I should be.
6. "When [insert name of friend/relative here] was pregnant, they didn't show at all! Like, you couldn't even tell they were pregnant at all." How nice for them. And you're telling me this...why?
5. "You look like you're going to pop!" Thanks, you look nice, too.
4. "Hey, you're FAT!" No, that's called a BABY.
3. "You're still pregnant?" Yes, obviously.
2. "Oh, well, when I was pregnant I was as big as you, and everyone thought I was having twins!" Thanks. Thanks a lot.
1. "Oh, I didn't know you were pregnant!" - after you have the baby. Weirdest thing is, when I got this comment, I was also HOLDING the baby. I guess some people don't think before they open their mouths. "Yes, I am five months pregnant, and I also have this newborn! It's a biological anomaly"

Failing to take an STD test can result in Child Neglect Allocations in Texas

Here's what happened:

I checked my email. I had a message from my health insurance company (United Health Care) saying that I had 2 newly filed claims. I logged onto my account to view those claims. They were for the following: an HIV test ($8.17), a chlamydia test ($20.89), a human papilloma virus test ($20.89), and a Gonorrhea test ($20.89). This totals to a $70.84 charge for being tested for STDs.

In Utah, my physician asked me whether or not I wanted to be tested for STDs. I laughed and said, "No!"

Here in Texas, I was not even informed by my OB/GYN (Dr. Amina Sayeed of OGA West in Katy) that these tests would be performed. I had no way to "opt-out", even if I had wanted to. Naturally, I am upset. The other prenatal tests, which were routine in Utah, and I expected to be performed, cost me $54.52. Which, by the way, is over twice as much as I payed with DMBA, BYU's Student Health Insurance. There, I went to the Health Center lab, paid $25, and didn't even know it was a great deal. Right now, I feel frustrated that I have to pay about $125 for prenatal screening tests, over half of which will definitely be negative.

I sent an angry (but polite) email to my OB/GYN's office. To me, failing to inform a patient of a test/procedure that will be performed on them (or their blood) is unethical and unprofessional. Not to mention illegal. I then found a new provider.

I found out from my new physician that Texas State Law (http://www.statutes.legis.state.tx.us/Docs/HS/htm/HS.81.htm#81.090) requires HIV testing, syphilis testing, and Hep B testing in pregnant women at least one time during pregnancy. My previous OB/GYN said that they need to get the HIV, chlamydia, HPV, and gonorrhea tests three times. This doesn't even include the syphilis and Hep B tests. I don't get it. I was tested for a whole bunch of stuff that the law doesn't even mandate. Three tests could be manageable, but am I really expected to be tested for SIX STDs a total of THREE separate times? That would be at least $250 per pregnancy, just on STD testing!

I asked my new physician what would happen if I refused to take the tests. She said that if there was no record of my HIV, syphilis, and Hep B results on file at the time when I go into the hospital in labor, then the hospital would try to administer these tests. If I then refused, the hospital would contact Child Protective Services.

This is an outrage. The government should not have a role in telling me which tests I need to take. This is an example of how the chaste and monogamous have to pay for the promiscuity of the rest of society. Not only is it unfair, it's insane. Doesn't CPS have REAL threats to take care of?

Mom, and Janny, don't worry; I'll take the stupid tests. CPS is so corrupt and evil, there is no way Danny or I would let them come near our family with a 40 foot pole. Really, it's not the money that is the main issue, although there is no room for pointless $70 tests in our tight budget. What enrages me, what I find truly maddening, is the complete lack of trust the government gives to its citizens through legislation like this. I don't want to live in a nanny state, where some distant, white men make decisions about my family's health and well being. I want to live in a place where the government lets me make my own decisions about personal issues, like STD testing.

There is NO WAY that government-run health care can be a good thing for this country. Period.

Oh yeah, and the response I got to my complaint to the OB/GYN was from an irritated, defensive office lady who said things like, "If you don't get these tests done, you are a bad mother," "These tests are standard and are done everywhere, and I can't believe the office you went to before didn't do them," "If you don't get these tests, there's no way for your baby to be born healthy," "You wouldn't want a baby who has an STD," and, "There is no way to know that your husband isn't cheating on you." I felt bad, because she told me about how her husband had an affair, and she had no idea. I think on some level, this was personal to her. Though, that doesn't excuse her rudeness.

On some level, she's right; there is no way to definitively prove that a spouse will be or is being loyal. But when the society erodes into assuming that a spouse is NOT, there is a huge, huge problem, far deeper than this annoying bill that we have to pay.

Baby 2

So, I am 14 weeks pregnant. I guess announcing it officially on my blog means it's "public knowledge". Now that I am in the 2nd trimester, I figured it would be a good time to announce it.

Here is an ultrasound from 12 weeks:

And for all the ultra-sound challenged viewers out there, here is the one that Danny modified so you can tell what is what. He did it in blue because he's hoping it's a boy.

So far, zero morning sickness. Just really sore gums. The dentist said I have "pregnancy tumors". There's nothing to do for them except keep them clean and hope they don't get bigger, which they probably will. But they should go away as soon as I'm not pregnant anymore.

Danny thought this was funny

...mostly because it doesn't mention what the record being broken is!

Sort of Freaky

So I follow my friends' blogs with google.reader. It makes it really easy to read or skim through all the various blogs I like. I really enjoy keeping track of people. It's kind of funny, but even people from High School who I didn't know that well - I like to read their blogs. They're just so interesting. Everybody has interesting lives that are so, so different from mine. Mine is interesting, too - yet sometimes it's really fun to imagine the lives of other people, you know?

So there have been about 3 or 4 people from my past lives (most of them from the dorms at BYU) who were just a little bit ahead of me, pregnancy-wise. I recently checked their blogs to find out that all of them have given birth. Augh! This sort of freaks me out.

I am 35 weeks pregnant as of last Wednesday. This means that our baby will be coming soon. I was especially interested in the photos my friends posted of themselves after labor. All of them looked exhausted. This freaks me out, too. This will be my first baby, and I don't know what to think about labor. It actually scares me a lot. Mostly the anticipation of pain. I wish it would just come and be over with.

Not yet - I need to finish my TESOL practicum and these 3 stupid online classes - but when those are done...please just end this anticipation stage! I'm sick of waiting!

5th Year High School Reunion

So Danny and I were home for the weekend of my 5th Year High School Reunion. It was the weekend of my mom's birthday, and she also threw me a wonderful baby shower. Danny and I decided it would be fun to go to the reunion, too.

Secretly, I've always thought it would be awesome if I could go to my 5th year reunion and be the only one married with a child. Although this baby is not yet born, I was still the only one there married and pregnant. Danny thought it weirded some people out. When we showed up, a whole table full of people turned around and were like, "Whoah, there's Kate!" Funny.

Everybody was really nice! They were friendly, asked about what was going on, and I asked about their goings-on. Almost every single person I saw said the same thing to me, "Congratulations for everything!" Funny. I felt like saying, "Congratulations to you, too...I'm sure there's something you've done in the past 5 years that deserves some kind of congratulations!" I guess mine was just a lot more visual. This huge 8 month pregnant belly, and my loyal sidekick and companion, Danny. Yeah.

I didn't notice a single other person besides Danny and me that wasn't drinking. This meant that as the night progressed, they got friendlier and friendlier and stinkier and stinkier. It was interesting; probably one of the only experiences I've ever had where I've been around drinking (and many flat out drunk) people and not felt like I was somehow putting myself in a bad situation. It was the reunion, not a secret, backyard party. One person specifically mentioned how they don't normally drink, it's just that they are around High School people and it brings back memories of them being rebellious and sneaking alcohol. That made a lot of sense to me.

Danny got to see what High School was like for me a little bit better. I was NOT popular, in fact, did not have very many close friends at all. The people who I care about from Williston are my teachers like Mr. Hing, Mr. Luikart, M. Blanchette, Susan, Marcia, etc., who I have kept in contact with. But lots of people still remembered my name (and I remembered theirs too, which surprised me!) and were friendly.

All in all, I had a good time. I'm glad the night didn't last too long, though.

I feel pretty satisfied, too. I've accomplished a LOT during these last 5 years, even though I will graduate in August and most of them have already graduated. Comparatively, I've got a much more clear outline for the rest of my life than almost anybody who was there. I had to explain to somebody that after the baby is born, I will stay home and not work. I think the idea of getting married young, having kids young, and being a stay at home mom are just completely "out there" for a lot of my old high school peers. Honestly, I feel secretly proud of my goal to be a mom, even MORE so because it seems to unnerve these other people. That's probably not a very mature thought process, though.

We ended up swing dancing for one of the dances, and an old couple came up to us and said that it made them really happy to see us dancing to Big Band. That kind of dancing is still alive and well in Provo!

Nightmare

I often find myself having nightmares. Probably this is because my bladder is a whole lot smaller than usual and so my body tries to wake me up before wetting the bed. I guess that's a good thing.

Last night I dreamed that Danny's grandma proposed to me. I didn't want to marry her. I wanted to tell her that I could only get married in the temple. She got down on one knee and gave me this hideous pave-diamond-golf-ball looking ring. I put it on my right hand's ring finger (my real wedding/engagement rings were still on my left hand. Weird) because I didn't want to be mean. Then I tried to take her for a walk to downtown Salt Lake so I could explain to her about the temple outside of the Salt Lake temple. I never got there in my dream. I woke up before I could explain to her that I couldn't marry her because she's a woman.

It was a terrifying nightmare. When I told Danny, he thought it was really hilarious. It actually is hilarious, this side of sleep.

...and PS I was wrong about the Nausea

...it's back in full swing and sucks because it's hard to find something appetizing, that I would actually enjoy eating.

I hope this goes away soon.

My belly is poufing out! Pictures soon.

POOF no more Nausea!

I stopped taking my prenatal vitamins and I don't feel queasy anymore.

This is wonderful. And horrible. My first appointment is this Monday, so I'll ask then about what can/can't be done.

Greg and Esther got married today! I'm so happy for them!

I decided to permanently boycott Radio West. More on that later.

Nausiauaaieia

I have never been able to spell "nausia" - "nauesia" - "nuasiea" - "nausea" FINALLY!

My tummy is tough, so I haven't actually vomited yet, but every once in a while I get this sudden lurch of "ewwwwww I feel disgusting! I feel nasty! I'm going to die!" and then it goes away.

This is not reserved for the mornings. In fact, it happens more often when I'm driving or when I'm trying to fall asleep. Nasty. Really, really nasty.

I've also been craving the weirdest things. I'm going to blame this on the pregnancy, even if it turns out it's totally unrelated. For example, the other night I honestly felt like the only thing in the whole world that I could stomach was Lamb Saag. What!??!?! Danny thought it was funny - he would have gotten it for me, too, but that would have been a bit ridiculous. Lamb Saag? We don't have a budget that can afford me getting Lamb Saag tonight and Prime Rib tomorrow.

Other things I've craved:
pizza
mashed potatoes
Cafe Rio
Wendy's
Basically any fast food restaurant...


Things that make my stomach lurch at the thought of them:
pizza
::::ewww:::::: shepherd's pie
turkey
chicken with pasta

Fromage!

Okay so I realize that my parents are probably both dying to look at my belly, but honestly, to outsiders you probably would just think I'm a little bloated.

To put it in Danny's oh so elegant words, "It looks like you just ate a big dinner."

So...I'm not showing. I am ALMOST 8 weeks, this is totally normal, though I don't understand how a baby so tiny could force me to pee so frequently.

This is a fairly recent photo of me. I think it was taken late October. I was probably pregnant. I didn't know I was. My aide at school took it on his cell phone and then sent it to me. I needed an "artifact" that proved I taught my middle schoolers a lesson on French Culture.

It was, of course, about cheese. Mostly I had them taste-test cheese that they had never tried before. And $28.60...they still mostly liked cheddar.

Sigh.

I think that High School will be a lot more difficult to motivate and excite. You should have seen these little 7th and 8th graders. They were ecstatic.

I have to Pee X A BILLION

Seriously. Once my mom gave me a compliment, "You have a very good bladder! You'll appreciate that someday!"

Well, it's "someday", and my bladder is no longer any size bigger than a pea, apparently, because I have to get up about (okay it only FEELS this way, but) every 20 minutes to pea about 1/4 cup of water. This is ridiculous.

Danny's said his mom said that it gets better sometime during the middle. I don't really see how, since the baby is only about 1/4 inch long or less now, and is going to be a HECKUVA lot bigger later. Hmmm....

Hot laptops on my pregnant belly increase the need to pee, I've decided.

Revamping th'ole Blog

Yeah...I like to blog. Or at least, I used to. Then things happened like...school, and getting married, and...soon I realized that I missed my old friend, katesamericanlife. So here I am, back at it again.

When I realized I was pregnant, I thought, "Oh! I could totally blog about this!" Now, you should realize that I DO sometimes, if infrequently, update our family blog, which is challisadventures.blogspot.com - but the thought of taking over that blog as my pregnancy venting blog was not appealing. What if someday our kids want to use it for...something? You know?

So then I decided to make a new blog. But thinking about all of the blogs that are started and never finished, or never written on started to make me shudder. Seriously, there are so many wastes of excuses for blogs out there! Cyber junk. Someone should put them in an insinerator.

So FINALLY I decided to revamp my old blog. The title is catchy, if you ever listen to NPR, that is. Which I do. Every day. For almost the hour that it takes to get to and from work.

Et voila! This is her! Beautious, lovelious...I hope you enjoy it. Sometimes I write my blog goals - and so here they are for 2009, albeit a month early:

1. Write on my blog often
2. Put photos on my blog often
3. Get people to read and check my blog often.

Tchao!